Johns' Explorer made the perfect Ice Pack this morning. Crackhouse Puppy needed to go out, so I gingerly slipped on my Crocs, threw on my shawl and carefully stepped outside. While waiting for my buddy to get down to business, I leaned against the car....Ice Cold, and the perfect height. It hit most of my parts that are screaming with pain this morning.
It's been a Hell of a week in the Kennedy household....actually, a Hell of a two weeks. Mr. Kennedy had a serious allergic reaction to a sulfa antibiotic he was taking to ward off any nasty infections, after he cut his hand at work and became the recipient of a number of stitches. Babiest girl has Pneumonia. Baby Girl has some weird virus that settled in her eye and stomach that also produced multiple days of hives....and me? Well, I fell out of the attic on Tuesday. (This being Thursday, I am REALLY feeling it today....).
I decided to take advantage of Baby Girl being home on a school day, and enlist her to help me with the Thanksgiving decorations...which, of course, were in the attic. She was up in the attic, getting the boxes and handing them to me for transport down the ladder (One of those nasty pull down things). Standing on the next to the top step - my body in the attic space - I reached for the box, and in the blink of an eye, the contents in the box shifted as I grabbed hold and knocked me off balance. Shift to slow motion. As I fell backwards, I twisted in mid air - grabbing for the art piece that was hanging on the wall to my left - sending it crashing to the ground. I followed. The good news is the box fell on top of me - I cushioned it's fall, so none of the contents were destroyed! I heard a screaming in my head...I assumed it was my scream, but it belonged to Baby Girl - she thought I was dead, because evidently I was neither moving or breathing (Having had the wind knocked out me). She jumped from mid ladder (She will be seeing the orthopod on Monday - she did something to her foot!) "Mama....MAMA!......are You OK?!" Me: "I......don't.......know. Go get Debbie". About that time, Babiest girl (having dragged herself off of her sickbed : i.e. Recliner) comes screaming up the stairs. There I lay....face down, trying to asses the extent of my injuries - feet...really bad. Hip....pretty bad.....Left arm.....agony.....Head.....still attached.
Baby Girl must have flown across the street, because suddenly she was back with my neighbor Debbie - a nurse. She looked me over, and shared my concerns over my feet, arm and hip. I sat up slowly, and we determined my hip was not broken....feet blue and swelling....arm excruciating. John made the 20 mile trip home from work in record time, and we were off for Xrays.
Barefoot and shaking, I managed to get myself into the wheelchair at the medical facility (Which shall not be named, to protect the innocent). It was raining - a cold rain mixed with a few snow flakes. By the time John wheeled me inside, I was damp and freezing.(John was so sweet....he laid an old towel he had in the back of the car on the pavement, so I wouldn't get my feet wet as I stepped down). The receptionist, who was expecting us thanks to a call from my neighbor, got right down to business. Name? Date of Birth? Address? Insurance?................... silence...........because, of course....we have none. Since John lost his job 4 and 1/2 years ago - we have been among the ranks of the uninsured. He works 6 days a week in a commission only job. They, of course OFFER insurance, but to pay the premium - many months that would be more than John brings home....he would owe his employers money. I am not eligible for insurance at my job, because I am not a full time employee. We have been able to supply the kids with insurance...but us? Not possible. So we have done what we have always done in our life together. We have made the best of it. Most days, while I ALWAYS think about it, I am able to deal with it.....even when friends and family make snide remarks about "Lazy no good people trying to bilk good tax paying folks out of their hard earned money." Even while I read post after post on Facebook containing cruel, hateful, ignorant rantings about "Obamacare", and how "those people" don't deserve to be insured if "they" don't work for it.
I have been advised more than once to keep my political leanings to myself, and out of the public forum. Wise advice, in light of what I do for a living. Advice that I generally adhere to, because I have no desire to hurt anyone's feelings, or make them feel uncomfortable ....But that Tuesday afternoon, full of fear and in excruciating pain, under the sneer of the receptionist who, looking down her nose at me said..."Oh we do NOT serve uninsured patients here."....well, something broke inside me. There she stood - this girl who I am CERTAIN had far less education than my husband and I do...this girl that had poor grammar and even poorer posture, with one glance passed judgement upon us as unworthy....as some of "those people".
I fought back tears in my shame.....I was embarrassed beyond measure - by this time, people in the waiting room were staring at us...trying to get a look at the "freeloaders". I couldn't even look at John....I couldn't bear to see the pain in his face....the pain that I knew full well was there. Mortified and shaking, I started to say "Let's just go home", when the receptionist said with a put upon air "Well, let me call upstairs....sometimes they see the uninsured up there". Thankfully, there was a compassionate person on the other end of the phone, and they agreed to see us (after a very large upfront payment). The Doctor was kind, and Thank You Jesus, nothing was broken, which was miraculous, given my age and the height from which I fell.
Perhaps I should say, no bones were broken...because something in me DID break on Tuesday. My shame and embarrassment turned to anger somewhere around the 3rd of many XRays.
I don't know any person who works harder than my John. He works 6 days a week at his full time job, then does furniture repair on the side. He also mows lawns and anything else he can find to do. He is a person to be admired and respected, because he refuses to let himself be dragged asunder by our circumstances. I too, take as many paying jobs as I can find, in addition to my work at the Church. Acting gigs, singing gigs... whatever pays (and is legal!), well - you can count me in!
I say this, not to elicit sympathy, or pity....but to say, "I'm mad as Hell, and I'm not going to take it any more". Each snide or careless comment or FaceBook post has taken a little chink out of my soul. I only ask, that before you post that Meme about Obamacare.....or go on a two paragraph rant about "those people"....or stand around in a group and loudly discuss those good for nothing folks that don't have insurance, I only ask that you think.....that you see my face, or Johns face, and remember that there, but for the grace of God YOU might go. We never in our wildest imaginings would have dreamed that at our age, and level of education and work experience we would find ourselves in such a spot - but here we are, and here we have been for quite some time.The AFFORDABLE CARE ACT is, at this point, our only hope for insurance.....and it's not just us.....it is millions like us.....hardworking people, trying to do their best with circumstances beyond their control.
So yes....I did break something on Tuesday....and in a way, I am glad. Because I will no longer be ashamed, and afraid that someone might "find out" that we have no insurance. And if you are among my friends or family to post something hateful on FaceBook, or engage in a conversation in my hearing, rest assured that I will be privately sharing with you my point of view. Not in a public forum such as you have used to chip away at my self esteem, but privately and intently. I will defend your right to believe as you choose -I always have, and I always will....but I will no longer stand quietly by and say nothing, as you have a go at "those lazy people", for as my Mama taught me, "By saying and doing nothing....I HAVE said and done something - something contrary to my beliefs".
Thanks be to God, for the mercies of this week....for another chance to Keep on Keepin On.....for "hope, of the sunshine tomorrow, after the showers have gone"......
