I've been in bed all afternoon....I am heartsick...world weary, and truly baffled. I can not for the life of me understand the myraid viewpoints of hate floating around out there - all couched in "patriotism", "Constitutional rights" or "religious zeal" (using scripture to backhandedly justify this tragedy is NOT OK, on any level). People vomiting up the same old "If a car hits and kills a person is it the cars fault" rhetoric. If you know me, you know my mind on such matters as the gun culture, closed mindedness , bigotry/homophobia , fear mongering, and cherry picking scripture to support your particular brand of any of the aforementioned...so if you are peddling those, I don't want to know anymore.
Social Media is GREAT - it has allowed me to keep in touch with Baby Girl EVERY. DAY. that she has been on the Grand Adventure....it is also a bewildering, maddening window into the hearts and minds of friends, family, acquaintances and the friend of a friend of a friend. I don't want to know anymore.
I don't want to know that when Babiest posted a meme calling today's events the deadliest mass shooting in US History, someone snarkily commented that it was the deadliest "TERRORIST" attack in US History. I was proud when she quickly shut that down by reminding this person that a little something known as 9/11 might just hold that title.
I don't want to know that someone thinks that because the victims were gay they are somehow deserving of being gunned down. I don't want to know that this same person hates "them" almost as much as she hates those "damned Muslims".
I don't want to know that we have a candidate for President of the United States boasting of being congratulated for his being "right" about "them".
I don't want to know.
What I do want to know is how we got here. How did we turn into these people? Full of "us versus them" rancor - whoever the us, and the them might be. How do we not see that those biases and hatreds that we feed and stoke and stroke and tend are more dangerous than anything, except maybe for the "Me, Me. Me - Mine. Mine Mine" filter that is applied to every situation. How are "we the people" turning into "only we the people who look, think and act like me"?
I read of people praying for the death of our President. I read of filthy, vile messages sent to his young daughter on her birthday, and more of the same to his other daughter on the happy occasion of her acceptance into an Ivy League School. I read of aspersions cast against our Smart, Classy First Lady, yet barely a peep have I heard about the multitude of nude photographs of the woman that might one day hold that title. I read of state governments legislating hate and discrimination and the taking away of women's rights. How is this conceivable?
I don't want to know.....but I need to know. I need to know if the polite silence I try to maintain - the one that is respectful of the job I hold, makes me complicit....if I don't add my voice of outrage and mortification over the amount of vitriol from the "virtuous" - does my silence amount to furthering the cause of hate and hypocrisy?
I don't want to know......but I need to know.
Today, I have taken to my bed - because I am heartsick....and hatesick.....I just don't want to know.
