Disheveled and Disjointed....

I didn't sleep well last night. I kept waking up every hour or so, worrying about College Boy - he went to a concert last night.....did I mention they were having a blizzard in his College Town? So I would wake up, think about him, and say a prayer for his safety and well being. (This might be a good time to mention that the ONLY thing I seemed to have slept through was his text - sent around 1:00 - telling me he was home and that the concert was amazing....) After I said my little prayer, my mind would race, until I fell asleep for another little while.... At 4:00 a.m., I gave up and got up, made some coffee, cooked some soba noodles for Babiest Girls' lunch, made some Edemame for good measure and kept one eye on CNN. Yesterday I discovered a live weather cam, aimed at the Student Union and Quad (Do they still call them that?) on College Boys campus, so I kept that going on the computer screen - I wanted to see the October Snow unfold - without the wind chill! Once I got the girls out the door for school (which involved MORE praying, because Baby Girl thinks she is grown, and has been driving to school...with both girls in the car, that constitutes a twofer in the prayer department), I threw on some jeans and headed in to work. It is now THE DAY BEFORE THE FALL FESTIVAL, which means my day off turns into one that stretches past supper time. Tables were moved, chairs hauled in and out, inflatable pumpkins plugged in and tested, Halloween candy put out and tested... I stripped the shelves of Hot Dog Buns BARE at the WalMart, then prizes were put in bowls, tennis balls put into pantyhose (Not to worry - it's for one of the games),the popcorn machine was scrubbed and sanitized....SPEAKING of popcorn.....I have been a Children's Minister for years, and I cannot tell you how many times I have used that Popcorn machine ( AND, there have been several predecessors to the current machine - one even met a spectacular and fiery end at a movie night, but I digress...) and today, for the first time after all these years , it occurred to me, as I was huffing and puffing (and possibly muttering a kitchen word or two, but that's OK, cause I was by myself) over the dadgummed machine, that if. I. lined. the. bottom. with. foil. it would make clean up a snap! I even poked holes in the foil to correspond with the old maid escape holes in the bottom of the popper.....EARTH SHATTERING, I tell you! Tomorrow, I will put my years as a Singing Telegram Clown to good use. ( One of my many College jobs - We had to blow up all of our own balloons - one dozen  with each delivery, and as we were paid per telegram, with the most jobs going to the most organized Clown, let me tell you - I am fast with some helium!) I will fill the Fellowship Hall ceiling with floating pumpkin balloons - and then - Festival Time....a night full of  lots of popcorn and hot dogs, hugs, exclamations of delight at each and every costume, eyes full of wonder and excitement, spills to wipe up, more hugs, games to oversee, candy to dispense, happy faces on young and old alike, and did I mention hugs? A few sleepless nights, and walking around disheveled and disjointed are a small price to pay for that kind of dividend......Happy Fall Festival!

"Rude......."

We were watching the start of the 3rd game of the World Series right before we sat down to supper tonight. As the announcer introduced the players from the opposing team (which tonight happens to be the San Francisco Giants), the crowd in the stadium in Detroit boo'ed each player as he was called - with vigor, I might add...rising and escalating in pitch and fervor - right up to the introduction of the pitcher, at which time the crowd exploded with jeers. Now, I will be the first to acknowledge that I am not the worlds biggest sports fan, and I don't often sit and watch an entire game of anything from start to finish....I am more the "poke my head into the room every now and again to check the score", or the "rush in to find out why everyone in the den is hollering" kind of sports viewing gal. (With the exception of the Olympics - then you can't tear me away from the tube). I was appalled by this response from the hometown crowd....what happened to good sportsmanship, or just good old fashioned civility? I understand that emotions run high in the heat of competition and all that, but come on....it's just a game....or is it? The more I think about it, I am afraid that this pregame rudeness is a slice of what we as a society have become. Look around you - social media has emboldened youth and adults alike into a "mean girl" (intended to encompass both genders) mentality - it is a place where refuge for any and all kinds of rudeness can be found, in the impersonal nature of the typed word - sometimes in 44 characters or less. As we draw ever closer to the election, you have only to turn on your TV, or fire up your Facebook news feed to find all manner of mud slinging and the sweeping generalities of parroted hatemongering....on both sides. In so many ways, we as a society have made remarkable progress....but at what cost? At the risk of sounding like an antiquated PolyAnna, I am wondering just when we as a people lost our sense of decorum? Our code of Civility? Every where I turn these days, I am confronted by passive aggression (light on the passive), rudeness, and a thinly veiled air of mean spiritedness. Where is the accountability? The social obligation to be kind to your fellow man? To quote a Gentleman that I have known my entire life, "We may disagree, but that doesn't mean we have to be disagreeable...."...Somehow we  have come to a place where it seems we no longer concern ourselves collectively with the greater good. We have become a self centered, manners deprived, uncensored, unfiltered well of humanity whose behavior could be best compared to that of a petulant toddler, and I am weary of the by-products ....the hurt feelings, the aggravation, the constant feelings of stress that seem to stay shadow close. In short - we have become a people who display, as my Mother would have said, a serious lack of home training....I think, oddly enough, we need to become a nation of BonQuiQui's...you know, the girl from Mad TV who works at King Burger - the one who waves her long pointer finger, and calls people out with one powerfully inflected word...."Rude...."  So here it is.....maybe the next time I see someone, emboldened by our societies' seeming view of  "anything goes", I will wag my stubby, wrinkled, badly manicured pointer finger, cock my left eyebrow (a gift from my Mother), and recite - "Rude......"

"How YOU doin....?"

I wore jeans to work today! I can get by with it on days like this - I spent my day in storage rooms, pulling out supplies for the upcoming Fall Festival  - a very big to do. I gave the mirror a glance before I left the house this morning, and chuckled to myself, when I realized what I was wearing. It's my favorite cool weather, hang out, run errands outfit. My dark jeans, and a long button up peasant kind of blouse. The last time I wore this outfit, I had quite an experience! It was my day off, but I had to run by the Church. While I was there, a Church member came into the office and promptly asked me if I had lost weight - "Why yes, yes I have, thank you for noticing"......As I was leaving, another Church member was walking up to the entrance - Again, a complement....by this time, I'm feeling pretty good about myself, and walk to the car with a spring in my step. Next stop, WalMart. As I reached for the buggy, I put my cross body shoulder bag on (I can't wear a regular shoulder bag anymore, because of  neck muscle issues - a terrible thing for a hippie chick who adores the feel of a long pocketbook, tapping against her knee....),I checked on the whereabouts of my shopping list, and set off about my business. As I walked through produce, A Man approached from the other side, smiling so widely at me, I was certain I must know him. The closer he got, the more unfamiliar he became, and he passed me by with a wink, a smile and a "Hey, how are you?" "I MUST look good today", I thought to myself - basking in the glow of the obvious admiration of the masculine stranger. A few moments later, as I passed down the main aisle between grocery and clothing, a young man - ever so much younger than I, passed me with a dazzling grin, and a most enthusiastic "Good Morning!" By this point, I am practically prancing down the aisles - and as this happens not once, not twice, but three times more, all of this unsolicited male attention has me feeling positively magnetic - as if I had recaptured the allure of my younger self....As I skipped along towards the check out (having been in the store almost an hour), a big, dark burly man was coming right at me. He stopped, looked me up and down in the most lascivious way, and said - I kid you not - "How YOU doin?", Just like Joey from Friends. I allowed my eyes to follow his, and as I looked down, I was instantly horrified, mortified, and overcome with fits of laughter....as it turns out, when I slipped on my across the body shoulder bag, the strap had unbuttoned not one, not two, but the top five buttons of my blouse, leaving my beautiful new Oprah Bra (and all that it contained) in full view of inquiring minds, and eyes.....I hastily buttoned up, and rewarded The Joey Man with my most scathing mean Mommy look.I took refuge in the closest checkout line, and after paying, left the store post haste. Needless to say, before I left the house in the self same outfit this morning, I pinned each and every one of the previously offending buttons, and just to be safe, I changed pocketbooks!

If I'm Lyin.....I'm Dyin.....

The Van is....well.....old....with high mileage....so I, the queen of benign neglect when it comes to car maintenance, have finally come to realize that I must have the oil changed with regularity. Especially since the old gal (the car, not me) seems to be burning oil these days. So, with due diligence, I searched online until I found a good coupon for my favorite oil change place (a tire chain...just down the street from the house...). I called like a good girl and made an appointment, I arrived in a timely manner, and then...I commenced to waiting! I came prepared - with two books, seeing as how I was nearing the end of one. It was hot in the waiting room (I mean hotflash inducing hot), and the volume was too loud on the TV, but it wasn't very crowded, so I took a big sip of my Large Sonic drink, opened my book and prepared for a little quiet time(The TV not withstanding)....for the first 45 minutes, I got alot of reading done, and finished the 1st book. I then cracked open my well worn Harry Potter (Goblet of Fire), and took up where I had left off last week...My attention was diverted however, when I heard that beautiful voice...you know, the one that belongs to that actor that played President Palmer on "24"....the one that does the Allstate commercials. He was being interviewed on the Wendy Williams show, and Wendy had just challenged him to read the lyrics of that  annoying "Call me Maybe" song.....she wanted to know if he could make even that drivel sound sexy....he obliged, and of course did not disappoint! I chuckled out loud as they went to commercial break, and went back to Mr. Potter...immediately I was interrupted by another voice - this one, not so pleasant. It came from the other customer in the waiting room - a woman a little bit older than I. "I don't like to watch that Wendy Williams", she said. I replied " I've never really seen her show before...." "Yep", said the other woman " I don't like her - not one bit ....I'm pretty sure she's a man, so I don't watch her......I watch good TV.....like The Young and the Restless......"  To quote Jerry Clower, If I'm lyin - I'm dyin........

The Best. Birthday.......Ever!

My final thought before sleep overtook me last night? " I wish it was this time last week..." Last Wednesday night, just before bedtime, College boy came bounding in the house, and, thanks to his Fall Break, I fell asleep to the beautiful sound of him playing his guitar (College boy is a very accomplished guitarist, owing to the fact that he was a Classical Guitar Major at our arts based High School) - the perfect gift, as the midnight hour struck, ushering in my Birthday. Thursday morning, we were up at Dark Thirty to pack the car. Thanks to the generosity of some beachfront condo owning friends, we were off on a roadtrip, for some much needed family time and some sand between our toes! The next four days were heaven on earth - all five of us together, perfect October beach weather ( Cool and breezy), and all the Balcony sitting, coffee drinking, ocean watching I could stand. Throw in some long walks, hot tub time, low tide fishing and homemade cinnamon rolls and you have the BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER! As I walked the beach alone one afternoon, I remembered another walk, on another beach.....The summer I was 22, I performed at a theatre on the Coast. I was playing Luisa in The Fantastiks, loved my fellow cast members, and even had a boyfriend (who happened to own the theatre) who would take me sailing on his 72 foot sailing yacht (The Wind Drifter), and present me with a nightly bottle of Dom Perignon (Don't judge....) - let's just say that the living that summer was easy.....but I was miserable....Soul weary and bone lonely. We spent many of our afternoons pre-show at the beach (Where I fell asleep one afternoon, and suffered the worst sun burn of my life, but that's another story....), and on one such afternoon, I decided to walk alone - pouring my misery out to God. I walked, and talked, and walked and talked - praying for an end to the desperate loneliness that I had felt since the night my Mother died, right after my 18th birthday. I came to a deserted spot on the beach (unusual for high summer), a sunbeam broke at that very moment through the overcast sky, and there in the middle of the pool of sun was one whole sand dollar. Large and perfect and shiny white....and as I picked it up, God's promise to me seared me to my very core...He promised me that I would not always be alone - that I would once again know the wholeness - the completeness - the love of a family....I held on to that promise, and to that Sand Dollar, and the day that I met John, I somehow knew that God's promise to me was on it's way to being fulfilled. Back to last week....As I walked along the Beach, seeing John and the kids fishing out on the sandbar, I gave thanks to the God that blessed me with my hearts desire. Our lives together have not always been easy, and our family is taking on a new form, as people grow up and go....but my heart is whole, and full of my family....God's promise for my life....and there you have it, some 30 years later......the best. birthday. ever.

I. Blame. The. Dream.

I blame the dream. I have been in the worst mood ever since my feet touched the floor this morning (at Dark Thirty), and I blame the dream. It was the. weirdest.dream.ever. It started out nicely enough....I was on a luxury liner, going to some undisclosed tropical location for a much needed, well deserved rest...then the ship turned into a ferry, that just so happened to have the Church Van on it, filled to capacity with some of my charges, my daughters, and myself. Somehow, I wound up driving the van off the ship, which in and of itself is a nightmare, because I HATE driving that thing! We were instantly caught up in NYC type traffic - besieged on all sides, on a road that led to a very high bridge (I hate THOSE slightly more than driving the Church Van). There was a place to pull over and look at the water, and all the kids were begging, so I pulled over for a look see. Suddenly, I was transported to the penthouse of an oceanfront hotel room. From the balcony, I could see an ocean teeming with Manatees and Dolphins...hoping that I would see a Whale (It shares the number one spot on my bucket list - alongside a trip to Ireland), I leaned forward, and found myself on a boardwalk just above the ocean water. It was at this moment, that I realized all of the Children were back at the bridge! Panicked, I started running down the boardwalk, only to be thwarted by very large sea turtles who were hurling themselves out of the water, and on to the planks in front of me....did I mention that these were SNAPPING sea turtles? I finally extricate myself with some Jack Bauer worthy moves, only to be confronted with the tallest mountain I have ever seen, with one sidewalk going straight up...instinctively I knew that this was the only way to reach the kids. I started up the path, sure in the knowledge that I would have a blown knee or a heart attack before climbing very far, when all of a sudden, out of the blue came a very large Black Standard Poodle(much like the one I see twice a week or so, when I take Baby Girl to her nannying job). He speaks to me with his extrasensory, brain wave powers of communication and tells me I have only to place a hand on his back, and he will help me up the mountain....It was at this point that The. Most. Obnoxious. Alarm. In. The. World. went off, leaving me to wonder how my journey might have ended. The day did NOT improve upon waking, so if you see me out and about in the next day or so, please, be gentle.....and if you are one of  my psychologist friends, or are into dream interpretation.....kindly refrain from analyzing me......I would hate to erroneously go all snapping sea turtle on you.....