Nine Flights Down....Nine Flights Up......

   So, I'm sitting here before bedtime - eating a Chocolate BB Bat, and drinking a Coke. Not in despair over a three week plateau (I'm stuck at 73 pounds gone), but at the end of a cheat weekend, in honor of my belated birthday trip with the whole family....All five of us - together - my favorite thing! We started the weekend off with a college tour for Baby Girl. In the Mountains, but not College Boy's mountains - further south, and west. After the tour (we all LOVED the school - it is a real contender!), and a late supper, we discussed the options for our Saturday adventure. Hiking won the popular vote. In years past, I would have been the lone dissenting voter - mountain hiking? Not my thing. In years past, Four Kennedys would have trekked away - turning back to wave at me, as I settled down with my book, on a bench close to the trail head.
   But yesterday morning, I laced up my fancy hiking boots (Found new, at the Goodwill! 150 dollar boots for 5 bucks!), donned my AppState Sweatshirt (a  birthday present from College Boy...did I mention that it was size LARGE?!?! Not even an "X" in front of the "L"!), and bounded down the the stairs of the borrowed cottage. As we pulled out of the driveway I grabbed  the "Transylvania County Waterfall Guide", and read up on the trail. "Difficulty - moderate to high"......hhmmmm......"4 mile scenic hike"....hmmmm......Commence the internal pep talk. "You've got this....you ZUMBA for goodness sakes....your new motto is Keep on Keepin On......"  Buoyed by my own inspiring words of wisdom, I settled in for some serious scenery watching. Even with the GPS, we had some difficulty locating our intended location - DuPont State Forrest. After a few wrong turns, and finally, a quick stop to ask directions, we pulled into the Parking Lot at the head of the trail (And, not a moment too soon - I forgot to mention the two cups of coffee I drank on the ride over....and Lord have mercy, let me tell you about the line at the bathroom....I finally had John stand watch outside the Men's Room while I went in.....what?......I am not proud.....) A quick picnic at the car (No tables...it is a Forrest, NOT a park, as we were told by the volunteers in the visitors center....), and we were off. Emboldened by my store bought walking sticks, I took the lead. Up hill, down hill....the Fresh Air Mountain Smell was intoxicating. It was grey, damp and cool - my favorite! I will stop here, and share with you my theory - when they are making these hiking trails, they like to lure you in with a false sense of security....modest inclines and descents....so minor as to barely be noticeable.....until you are too far in to turn around, and then.......Lord help.
   We were gaining speed, as we walked down the first major incline - I was loving life - smiling and greeting people that we passed...until it occurred to me - What goes down, must go up (In hiking, that is....). We heard the first waterfall long before we saw the sign for it. Triple Falls...such a utilitarian name for such a miraculous sight. We took a right, following the arrow....and then, I saw the stairs. They went Straight down the side of the mountain....I offer not one shred of exaggeration here when I say that from the top, you could not see the last of the stairs. My entire family turned as one, looking at me questioningly. Inside, I was screaming "NO,NO, NO....you CAN NOT DO THIS". I put on what I hope was a pleasantly brave face, and nodded towards the steps - "Let's Go!". One step at a time, down I went - making note of the sturdy benches built into the railing, at every other flight. I comforted myself with the promise that I could sit down whenever I wanted or needed to. After what seemed like an eternity, the staircase made a final turn, and there before me was a natural wonder more beautiful than any I had ever seen. I stepped down onto one of the massive stones, and burst into tears. Never in my life as a Mother had I been able to share such a thing with my children....the majesty.....the awe inspiring roar....the delicious spray of water as one Fall pooled and then spilled into another, and then another....one by one, my babies patted and embraced me - John took my hand, beaming from ear to ear. For a moment, all of us stood still - enfolded in the victory. The kids scrambled over rocks, right up to the falls - but John and I sat, side by side on a beautiful boulder - silent, each with our own thoughts. Mine ranged to the miraculous - the miracle of God's handiwork - the majesty of our surroundings. The miracle of those three precious humans that are mine - playing together, as if they were small again - my heart bursting with love and pride. The biggest miracle of all - that I was able to be there with them - a feat which, 6 months ago would have been an impossibility. We stayed a long time - reveling in the moment. Pictures were taken, and then....the ascent. 9 flights down......9 flights up. I would be lying, if I said I wasn't nervous....truth to tell, I was slightly panicked. I developed a rhythm. 2 flights...stop and rest. 2 more....stop and rest.....as I reached the top, John at my side, I was greeted by the faces I love most..... each wearing a look of pride, joy and disbelief. Laughing, we turned to face the next direction signs. One led to the rest of the trail - the other, a side trail that went all the way to the bottom of the gorge - to the pool of the third waterfall. As it turns out, the nine flights down - that was only half way down.....The trail we now faced went down a mountain.....an. entire. mountain. Giddy with my previous success, I allowed my beloved family to hoodwink me into believing that I could scale an entire mountain - Down AND Up. (Perhaps it wasn't giddiness per se....more likely it was lack of oxygen to the brain from the altitude, and my recent encounter with the aforementioned 9 flights of stairs.) Against my better judgement, one foot and one walking stick in front of the other, I began the steep descent. Dirt, gravel and kitchen words were flying, as I tried to stay on my feet. More than once, feet and walking sticks tried to skitter out from under me. Before I was a third of the way down the mountain, my leg muscles were shaking, but John was always there, and together, we made it to the base of the mountain. It seemed that once again, the Good Lord provided, because there - at the place where the trail leveled out at waters edge, was a tall boulder with a flat top - perfect for the collapse that ensued. Down I went - trembling, terrified and triumphant. As I rested, I scanned the river for a rock suitable for the rescue helicopter that would surely be dispatched post haste to get me back up the dadgummed mountain. Once again my mostly grown, little children scampered off to play in the rocks. John looked at me, laughing and shaking his head...."Honey....You made it"......indeed I had. My family knows me well enough to know that some powerful magic was going to be needed to get me back up the mountain. Teasing and laughing, they took turns walking back up with me.......a bit of a climb, a rest, a song sung in harmony or a laugh.....a bit of a climb, a rest, a song or a laugh, and in no time at all, in spite of myself - I had scaled a mountain...physically AND proverbially. The rest of the hike was a breeze, after that...up hill, down hill - covered bridges and streams. 5 miles in all.
    The family took turns rubbing on me last night....8 hours in new hiking boots destroyed my feet and ankles....my thigh muscles cramped and burned. But I woke up this morning, able to move. College Boy was returned to his side of the Mountain. The car is unloaded, the laundry is started, and as I got up from the computer just now to let Crack House Puppy out, my limp was barely perceptible.
   So yes, I am drinking a Coke and eating a chocolate BB Bat, in my Size Large shirt and skinny jeans. Tomorrow, the Food Log will reappear and calories will once again be counted. Tonight is for savoring.....chocolate and Coke.....Size Large shirts.....remembrances  of Waterfalls and Mountain Ridges that I could once only dream about (Or see in  Movies - the Hunger Games, to be exact....)...experiences and victories that now live in my sense memory....Nine flights down...Nine flights up.....one step at a time....Happy Re-Birth Day to me......

Dance, Baby, Dance.....

  I was waiting to turn right - out of the Teeter Parking Lot. I looked to my left - a long stream of traffic was approaching. I was content to wait my turn. My windows were down - a beautiful breeze was blowing - Dan Fogelberg was playing - who could ask for more? I glanced once again to my left, and my eye was immediately caught by an enormous insect - hovering mid air - two lanes over...it was MASSIVE, and what's worse, even with my ever decreasing eyesight, I could see that it was a hornet. As I am allergic to everything that stings, I reflexively pushed the button to raise the windows - laughing at myself as I did so. It was two lanes over, for goodness sake - I was well within the safety zone.                   Now people, I must emit a fragrance that is irresistible to lethal looking, venomous stinging things - because this sucker (pardon the upcoming pun), made a beeline straight towards me!  It was at that very moment that things started to move in Slow Motion - the Hornet, winging it's way towards the open window - that very window inching it's way up....It's Not going to Make it in time!! I did what any intelligent person would do - I pushed the button harder and scrunched my eyes closed. I felt the window slide into the closed position. I cracked one eye open - then the next. I looked in the rear view mirror - whew! No flying monster anywhere in sight. The front seat was clear, as was the dashboard and all other landable interior automotive surfaces. Narrow escape!
   I made my right turn, onto the busiest thruway in our town. After about half a block, I rolled the windows down, and recommenced singing harmony with my Man Dan. I rolled to a stop at the intersection with Main St. I was several cars back, which put me on eye level with The Tuesday Morning Store. As I looked to my right to see what was on the sidewalk sale, I saw a crumb on my shirt. I reached down to brush it off, when it's antennae wriggled. "That's odd", I thought to myself - "crumbs don't have antennae". I came to the realization that I hadn't even eaten anything that might have left a crumb at the exact same moment that I realized I was sporting a large, live Hornet Broach! I threw the car into park - flung the door open, jumped out - right into the highway, and proceeded to give half of my little town a show that they will never forget. It is a good thing that I have been Zumbafied. Shoulder isolations.....abdominal rolls.....hip thrusting. A dance of such magnitude it literally stopped traffic. The woman in the car behind me sat bug eyed( I know...I'm punny!) as she mouthed "Do you need help?"  I started to shriek like a mad woman, as my gyrations were doing nothing to dislodge the stinging demon. In a last desperate attempt to free myself, I grabbed the hem of my tee shirt and commenced to pull it off. Thank the good Lord, at that point, the wee beastie decided that it was in it's best interest to fly away, because I was prepared to go the Full Monty - right there by Main Street. In my panic to exit the car, I did not realize that the strap of my shoulder bag was hooked around my ankle, and with the last great heave of my shirt, I pulled the bag out of the car - spilling it's contents on the road, causing me to fall. I saved myself from contact with the pavement at the last moment by hooking an arm through the open window. As I bent to snatch up my bag and it's strewn contents, I gave a weak little wave to the massive line of cars that were now backed up - their drivers slack jawed and pole axed. The changing light, long since turned green, seemed to awaken the drivers from their  stupors, and the cars slowly moved around and past me. With as much dignity as I could muster, I threw my bag in the car, and dove in after it. As I put the car in drive, I caught sight of my very red face in the mirror, and then I smiled.......still stopping traffic in my Fifties....that's just how I roll.