I love a good magazine. Decorating, Lifestyle, Women's, Food, Travel (OK, fine....I will admit to the guilty pleasure of sometimes enjoying a gossip rag too). In the throes of our "New Normal" household state of economics, one of the first of the"luxury items" to be cut was magazine purchasing. That might explain my tendency to take some time glancing at the offerings on the big magazine rack at the Teeter when shopping day rolls around. Today was a treat....all of the new magazines had been shelved - Southern Living, Womens Day, Better Homes and Gardens....all with the most beautiful covers. Flowers and gardens and picnic blankets replete with lovely springtime food on fancy picnicware....(Never mind the fact that outside the big plate glass windows you could see big snowflakes blowing in the wind....). As I tried to decide which beauty to peruse, I came across a brightly colored magazine....High quality paper, beautiful fonts, lovely name....Peach Days.....I think my eyes knew that something was not quite right before my brain did.Upon closer inspection, the graphic on the front of the cover was a smattering of survivalist tools, and under the Magazine title was the heading "Apocalypse Survival guide". Having just read a novel called A Second Later (or A Second After...I can't quite remember) - my mind was already a little fried in regards to the whole survivalist thing. It revolves around the detonation of an EMP...you know, the kind of bomb that wipes out all electronics of any kind. It was not a terrifically written book, but it sure as heck was gripping. So much so, that I have spent a lot of time in the past week thinking about how we would survive such a thing. Starvation, keeping warm, sanitary issues, transportation (All the batteries in vehicles were fried....in the book, I mean).
As I picked up the magazine - I thought to myself that just the main article in this months issue must deal with surviving....but no! This fancy, somewhat snooty looking magazine - in. it's. entirety. - was devoted to Apocalyptic living. Picture of shelters that people have made preparatory to the commencement of Armageddon, Recipes for "Refuse Dining",Charts to help you determine which plants and berries will kill you, and which ones will just make you sick, How to acquire clothing, How to hide and defend yourselves....the more I read - the more freaked out I grew! I hastily reshelved the thing, and grabbed up a Southern Living......the periodical devoted to the opposite of Apocalyptic living! But by now, I am tainted. All the beautiful container gardens and raised beds full of Annuals pictured therein seemed a waste.....
quick - plant a survival garden in that elaborate ceramic planter.....that beautiful place setting on the back
veranda - those cloth napkins could be used for bandages if need be. That lovely recipe for Shrimp and Grits....what exactly IS the refuse conversion? That article on serene river vacations? Is that a little cave I spy, in the curve of the river - there in the rocky face of the bank? It could be used for Apocalyptic hunkering down.....
I fling the Southern Living down - now ruined for me, at least for the day. As I shuffle my buggy towards the checkout - I pass a display of Easter Chocolate. Considering that I am on my fifth day of the Atkins Diet, THAT certainly took my mind off of all things Apocalyptic....until I remembered that yesterday, I turned down the offer of a free piece of Giradelli chocolate from the sales pitch man in WalMart......If THAT doesn't indicate the immediate onset of the Apocalypse, I don't know what does!!
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