It is 8:00 p.m., and I find myself in the kitchen, running the water, trying to coax my bladder into releasing that which it is designed to hold.....it's just been that kind of a day. It started off well enough - Special K and Cheese Toast for breakfast. 2 Cups of coffee, Babiest girl out the door mostly on time to school. A couple of loads of laundry, and I too was out the door - headed to the next town over, where I had a matinee at the Dinner Theatre.
I believe I have mentioned before, that one of the perks of working Dinner Theatre is the meal that accompanies your paycheck. As I set my plate down at the table and joined my cast mates for lunch, I caught the tail end of the news of the morning....plumbing issues. A few toilets non functioning (unless you call overflowing functioning), but not to worry, the plumber was on his way. By the time I shimmied into my Act one Costume, the entire Women's Restroom was closed due to....ummm....malfunctions. The Men's room hurriedly became the Women's, and the Men came upstairs to the Actors Restroom (Theatre folk are resourceful, you know?)....that would be about the time I scared my bladder into submission. After having Three Children, AND not listening to my Doctor about the importance of the Kegel exercise, I find myself in need of the facilities.....often. Not entirely possible today....which is why I had prayer meeting with my poor aforementioned bladder before I stepped foot onstage.
About ten minutes into the show, out of the periphery of my left eye, I saw some sort of commotion in the audience. (The theatre is in the round - in the square, actually, and the stage is surround on all four sides by patrons). As I turned, following my blocking, I saw the sweet little lady with whom I had chatted in the buffet line, slumped over her table in a dead faint. As people rushed to tend to her, amid mumbles and rumbles, the action on stage continued. I had a fortuitous exit, and used my time off stage to ask about halting the show. The lobby was quite a scene....managers on the phone to 911, a family member pacing and telling me that he thought she was "gone". Another bemoaning the fact that the lady had no pulse....you get the picture. We managed to get through the scene, and then paused while the paramedics entered the Theatre to tend to the still unresponsive woman. To our great surprise, the woman we feared deceased was revived, and walked out to the waiting ambulance. (She later returned to the theatre, to sit in the lobby for the remainder of the show).
Toilets continued to fall to blockage, one by one, until none remained. After a quick costume change at intermission, and another stern warning to the old bladder, we finished the show...amazed that we were all still standing.
, As I left the Theatre, on my way to yet another town to pick up Babiest Girl from the Fancy Pants School, I realized I needed coffee.....badly. So, I stopped at the Sheetz before I got on the Highway, where I added a little Irish Cream flavoring to my Dark Roast - I deserved those extra calories after THAT show! Standing in a very long line to pay, I was happy to hear one of my favorite songs cue up on the Musak......"SHOUT!" You know, of Animal House Fame? The very same song that I broke my wrist to, at my Best Friends Wedding (but that is another story). As to what happened next, my only excuse is that I was still in Actor mode....you know....we dance to the preshow music in the Lobby, dance to the scene change music in the Lobby, dance to the curtain call music......I just zoned out for a minute. Imagine my surprise and extreme mortification, when I realized I was dancing. Not just tapping my feet, but DANCING in the Pay Line at the Sheetz.....during Rush Hour....holding a very hot large Coffee. I must have been pretty good, because by the time I got to the front of the line, Head down, trying to hide my blushing face behind my newly short hair, my coffee was free!!
20 minute drive, Babiest Girl secured....another 20 minutes back to the old hometown, dinner to fix and eat...dishes to wash....And that is how I find myself, at 8:00 p.m., trying to assure my Bladder that it is O.K. to.....Let it Go! I believe that it must be suffering from a wicked case of stage fright.....terrified to function after such a day.....oh....wait.....gotta run......fast!!
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