Not enough Hand Sanitizer in. the. WORLD!

          Here I am, a day late and a dollar short...as usual. I missed Tirade Tuesday by just one day. Can you have Tirade Tuesday on Wednesday?...No?...OK - how about Whiny Wednesday....yeah - let's go with that. I know that it might just be possible that I have an inordinate amount of things that annoy me - that aggravate me....like men wearing ball caps indoors, or bad grammar....chewing with one's mouth open - and here's a biggie......cars that go the wrong way in parking lots that have clearly designated "up" aisles and "down" aisles.
     It bothers me to see lovely young women going about their business, out in public, wearing pajamas. (Lord help Baby Girl and Babiest Girl if I ever catch wind of them doing so....). And of course, Trouser waistbands that ride the mid buttock/ upper thigh region, move me to lower the car window and scream to the offender "Pull up your Pants!!!" (Much to the dismay of my offspring!) I am annoyed by restaurants that  serve Pepsi products, and I really can't stand it if someone chews near my ear. Seeing kitchen cabinet doors left open works my last nerve, and upity, elitist folks send me over the edge. I hate it when Green lifesavers that I assume are Lime, turn out to be Watermelon.....and although I am a child of the 70's - it annoys me when people don't dress appropriately.....jeans and tennis shoes are just not meant to be worn to "dress your best" events. But today.....today, I may have reached a new high (or low, depending how you look at it....), when it comes to things that make me crazy........
          It was a simple thing - I held out my money, to be taken by the cashier. The first thing I noticed, as she reached out to take my payment, were her hands.....great, giant, beefy hands (Remember the Seinfeld episode re: Man Hands?!) Then, she took my money with both of those beefy hands.... in so doing, both of her hands grasped mine, and pulsated up my hand, from wrist to fingertip, almost as if she were wiping off something nasty, while adding a slight caress ....her hands were warm, and horribly damp....no, not damp.....moist......For a split second, I saw spots in front of my eyes and calculated just how much change I had coming, and if it was worth it to stand there for one more instant. I took a deep breath, girded my loins, and held my hand out for the change.....flat palmed, like they tell you to feed animals, so they don't accidentally bite your hand.
                    
                        I was giving myself a quick pep talk....this won't be so bad....
                             she'll just drop the change in your hand......
                                                                 
                                                        BLERG!!
            
            It was worse!....She gave me the change in reverse fashion. Both of her hands grasping mine, fingering down the length of my hand to the wrist, and then back up. Her moist fingertips lingering on mine. I could no longer rely on my home training....I could not be polite one second longer. I jerked my hand away and fled. It is not for nothing that I am known in my family as The Hand. Washing. Nazi. I could actually see the dampness that had been transferred from her hands to mine. I caught up to my crawling skin about half way to the bathroom, where I commenced scrubbing to a fair thee well, because people....let me tell you - there is not enough hand sanitizer in the World, for THAT kind of public interaction.