The REST of the story....

You know how Paul Harvey made a career off of the phrase "And now....for the REST of the story".....? Well - I have one of those. If you read my Facebook status yesterday you know that I had a fun little trip to the Harris Teeter....I went for ingredients to make Pizza Rolls for supper. In my new, fly by the seat of my pants kind of way (I REALLY miss the more organized me....I hope she will come home soon), I was in a hurry, so I am kind of amazed that I took the time to look at the expiration date on the Canadian Bacon. Imagine my surprise when I saw that it was over a month past it's "use by" date. This forced me to buy the more expensive name brand, which didn't sit well with me....I alerted the manager to his shelf full of shrink wrapped botulism, and full of gratitude for the countless number of lives I might have saved, he presented me with a ten dollar gift card, which more than covered the cost of the expensive product. With the remaining amount, I splurged and bought the October issue of my favorite magazine (Southern Living!). Needless to say, I was feeling pretty pleased with myself as I headed home.....enter...."The REST of the STORY"! With a spring in my step, I started my chores - put the load of laundry in the dryer, preheated the oven to 425, and started chopping the meats for the pizza rolls.(This might be a good time to tell you that I had plans with friends - a much needed night out, so I was working with time constraints....). As I was chopping away, the smoke alarm sounded - not to be concerned - this happens sometimes if there is a little something in the bottom of the stove.....Babiest girl grabbed a towel, and waved it around under the alarm until it stopped it's super sonic screeching. Back to the chopping....smoke alarm sounds again.... more towel waving - you get the picture...just replay it 4 or 5 times and this sets the scene. In the midst of it all, I hear a sickening thud from the laundry room. Somehow, the giant GALLON jug of bleach has been thrown off the back of the dryer, spewing the entirety of it's contents on the antique rug, my Grandma's washstand, a pair of shoes( I can now attest to the fact that Crocs are like cockroaches...indestructible!), not to mention the floor and surrounding walls. I jerk up the rug and run with it to the carport....umm....pavilion. I grab the dog washing towels on my way back in and start sopping up the floor, wiping down the furniture (Insert the kitchen word of your choice here...trust me, I was using them all!)...what a mess! I return to my pizza rolls, somewhat lacking in my usual Zen feeling, as I roll out the dough. On goes the tomato sauce, spices, meats and then the delicate task of rolling, pulling and tacking the dough....as I pinch the seam closed on the first roll it hits me...I have forgotten the CHEESE (insert another Kitchen word of your choosing). As I struggle to undo the roll, the smoke alarm goes off AGAIN! Babiest girl has seen the way the wind is blowing, and has wisely taken herself off to her room, so I grab a kitchen towel and go fan.....again! Finally, I get the rolls completed, sliced, on the baking stones and ready to go into the oven....I open the door, only to discover the reason for the smoke alarms....There, in all it's glory, is my rising sourdough, covered in what WAS one of my favorite kitchen towels....now scorched and smoking - I can't even begin to describe the state of the dough (Which was going to be made into lovely rolls to take to the College Boy when we visit him this weekend! oh, and BTW, feel free to insert yet ANOTHER kitchen word...).Correct me if I am wrong, but I think all of this "excitement" was too high a price to pay for the momentary enjoyment of saving lives, a ten dollar gift card, and a free copy of Southern Living. On the bright side, the Pizza Rolls turned out great, John and the girls enjoyed their supper, I had a wonderful night out with my friends, and this morning.....the house feels like a lovely spa with an indoor pool, owing to the lingering aroma of the exploding bleach jug.....all in all, just a typical day in the Kennedy household. And now...you know - "The REST of the STORY"!