Baby Girl....the LionHeart...

Her eyes were blackened and swollen shut, as if she had been a few rounds with a prize fighter...her fingers were long and beautiful - like my Mothers'. Baby girl was born 8 weeks early, and the Doctor arrived yelling "How the hell did this happen?", stuck out his arms and caught her. Tiny and in distress, she was whisked away before I had time to count her toes, or smell her head, or hold her....hours later I was taken down to the NICU to see my little girl. For all of my life, the one thing I wanted above all others was a baby girl (No offense, College Boy),and there she was, so full of wires and tubes, I couldn't even hold her. Three days after her birth, my Appendix ruptured - I was back in the hospital and sicker than Baby Girl...she was ready to go home before I was, but they kept us both in the hospital, so we could leave together....and that is how we have been ever since...together. There has never been a sweeter infant than Baby Girl. We used to joke that she didn't cry, because she was afraid we would take her back to the hospital. She grew quickly, and smiled and laughed without reservation. She talked extremely early (And hasn't stopped since...she takes after her Dad!), and was talking in sentences before she was 15 months old. As she grew older, "time out", was of absolutely no use....she would carry on conversations with herself, sing little songs she made up, tell stories loudly enough to ensure her brother and I could hear.....She has my Grandfathers eyes - the only one of his Grands,Great Grands or Great Great Grands to be so lucky....the clearest, palest, most arresting blue - and huge. She is smart, funny, creative, imaginative, artistic, loving, opinionated (I have NO idea where she gets THAT from...) and beautiful - inside and out. She has a soft spot for the elderly....she loves small children...and they love her back. She has the strongest will of any person I have ever known, and is brave beyond measure. She has been called upon more times than I can count, to make use of that courage. School was a challenge for Baby Girl from the beginning, and in the 1st grade, we discovered that she had sustained damage from the trauma of her birth - she has an optic nerve disorder, and is legally blind in her left eye. Treatment was horrible for her - she was required to wear a patch on the bad eye during school, and then, at home the patch was switched to the good eye, which left her stumbling around and frustrated. Even at that young age, she was able to grasp how important it was for her to cooperate - how it would affect her whole life, if she couldn't see. I would get up early every day and draw on her patch - tie dye designs, flowers, butterflies, hearts - whatever she wanted. Kids can be cruel, and sadly, my girl discovered this at an early age...immediately, she was the object of teasing and name calling. She became withdrawn in public, and clung to me. My favorite Baby Girl story occurred just a few weeks into this process. It was Halloween, and there was to be a grand festival at our Charter School. Baby Girl dressed as Boo from Monsters Inc....I even drew Mike Wasowski on her eye patch. She would not leave my side, and spent most of the time with her face buried in the side of my skirt. I was working a game booth outside on the playground, and I suddenly realized there was no little body attached to me....I scanned the playground, and spotted her - just as she threw herself between a much older, much larger bully boy and a child with serious learning disabilities. She threw back her shoulders and stood as tall as her little body would let her and screamed "You leave him alone!" My little girl with her eye patch and her lions heart...She had her yearly Eye exam yesterday. When we started treatment, so many years ago, the Doctor said the best we could hope for was 20/60 eyesight with corrective lenses - yesterday, she tested 20/20 with her lenses. I am so proud of my tenacious girl - so loving, so strong, so determined.  So beautiful, so smart, so talented...she doesn't yet believe in her true worth....kids can still be cruel, and I have watched, heart broken as they try to chip away at her sense of self - for sport. But my girl still possesses the heart of a lion, and one day soon, she will be able to leave this place, and go forth and find her tribe. I long for the day when she sees herself as I see her...as the greatest of treasures....full of life and love and strength....my beautiful Baby Girl, the lionheart. Today, I am thankful for the gift of my first daughter...heart of my heart.